Was there anything I could do to stop my son’s homosexuality? When did I know my son was gay? What made him that way? I've witnessed the desperation in the eyes of fathers, from all walks of life, who have pulled me aside, away from listening ears, wanting to know the answers to their questions, analyzing the possibilities of why their son might be gay, some weren’t even sure that their sons were gay.
Mothers seem to be more liberal about their sons’ decisions to choose what makes them happy in life, and most importantly, "who" they share their lives with. However, for fathers, nine times out of ten, the topic is taboo. Especially the fathers who I've met in Federal prison or on the opposite end of the spectrum working with celebrities in the entertainment business.
I can tell you this though, I never thought I would write a book and never a book on a topic like this[MW1] , but life is funny that way. I found myself raising a son at 18 years old; I was still a kid myself, with a baby boy headed down that taboo highway. I was confused, frustrated, and angry at the world. "Why me?" I often thought in those early days... “Why has life thrown me this crazy curve ball?”
Back then it wasn't so easy to talk to my friends about my son’s odd behavior, some things you just didn't talk about it. So I struggled alone, doing everything I could to stop the unstoppable because I wanted a son that grew to be a man like me. I wanted a son that had lots girlfriends and would one day save up three months’ salary at his very manly job and place an engagement ring on the finger of the woman who stole his heart, his beautiful future wife, not some... "Life Partner”.
Back then, with my limited knowledge of being gay, I would picture a pervert, infected with AIDS that molested little boys, because isn't that what homosexuals do? In the crowd I hung out with I wasn't the only person to think that way. If Drew chose that path, I was fully prepared to relinquish any and every association I had with him.
I know what you’re thinking. How could you feel that way about your own son, gay or not?
I had a tough mindset, even being a teen aged dad. I thought that I could at least solve the problem for the both of us. If he hated me he wouldn’t want to see me, which was cool with me. I didn’t want to see him walking around with a limp wrist anyway. I was at a crossroad without a compass, with no one to advise me on such an unorthodox situation.
Didn't most fathers disassociate themselves from their child, once they found out that they were going to like men?
I pushed back the wall, my son’s gay future, with both hands, fighting, cursing, and questioning both God and my sanity. I'm old school and hard-headed with the way I think, believing I could change what was meant to be.
My experience should help any person that has someone in his or her life that lives differently, specifically if that person is your gay or lesbian child. Stereotypes attached to homosexuality have a staggering effect on society. I retained many of those stereotypes, I used derogatory terms, made queer jokes and laughed openly at any one living the alternative lifestyle. Ironically, the Universe thought it was appropriate to put me in the situation of having a gay son. Me... Eddie Wright... Street Entrepreneur... Ladies’ man and hustler.
The critical point to be made here dear readers, was that as a black man, I, myself was being prejudiced against my own flesh and blood. As a Black man in America, that's a hard pill to swallow and very embarrassing to admit.
This book is meant to teach other fathers and all parents of gay children the lessons I learned the hard way, and should start a discussion on having a meaningful relationship between fathers and their children no matter whether they choose to live gay, straight, or somewhere in between.
This book is the “Voice for the Silent Fathers” for those going through the same thing I went through and m voice will be silent no more.
These delicate father son issues, so implicitly captured in Eddie's writings, are relevant to a broad spectrum of societal issues beyond the "No son of mine" father of a gay man experience. In fact, the book gets to the real substance of human conflict which is our inability to accept and appreciate difference. The key word here is appreciation. The book offers an opportunity to consider acceptance in a way that extends grace, honor, support and recognition. When we are ungrateful, we are critical, blaming, and we use forms of rejection. Eddies' experience of coming to the acceptance of his son provides hope for healing; a more practical response to conflict that allows dignity, respect and honor which overcomes criticism, blame, bigotry, and ultimately rejection. God bless you Eddie, and thank you for this healing message.
First time author Eddie K. Wright is a fitness trainer, Yoga instructor, spiritual motivational speaker and an inmate at a federal prison. His personal transformation upon realizing the Universal laws and love of life, supports his conviction in his “Gangster to Guru” book series.